The Wizard’s Book, Faulkner, Game of Thrones, my stuff

Hey Goobers,

 

This week, my story The Wizard’s Book is free on amazon for kindle.

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It’s a funny book. I wrote it to be the worst thing ever written, but since it is supposed to be bad, I’m not sure if the satire makes it come back around and become good again. Lots of easter eggs, references, jokes, and ridiculousness as Tim, Ludus and Clare travel around the world looking for wizards, good books, etc, through deus ex machina and luck.  Check it out for FREE if you want.

 

Now that I am ‘retired’ for the time being, I have lots of time

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and I pretty much just spend it thinking about money. I go to thrift shops more often. I found a nice copy of Sartoris by Faulkner, the one book of his I am missing. I don’t know when I’ll get around to reading it. I still think his best story was ‘the bear’.

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The Bear, by William Faulkner

 

So #GOT #GameOfThrones

everyone is so pumped up. It’s a good show, but I am more into Hannibal. I don’t know but for some reason eating people is just so taboo– I can’t look away. I definitely spend way too much time watching T.V. I don’t have to hunt though, so I might as well. Volunteering would be a better Idea.

 

Thursday someone slept over at my place and when I woke up, all my butter was gone.

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I don’t know how to feel about that. I mean on one hand, dat’s my butter,  you know how much I love butter?

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a lot. But I’m more intrigued by the mystery as everyone is claiming they had nothing to do with it. I guess no one wants to admit they threw down 3 sticks of butter.

 

If you need to ask me any questions you can msg me or follow me @realPeterBlack on twitter

 

I’m still looking for new poems to listen to on youtube or soundcloud, so you can subscribe to my channel or send me the link to yours so I can check out what you are doing.  Youtube!

I hope everyone has a great weekend

See you all next week.

 

 

3/28 – 4/1 A whole damn chicken, dying great uncle, sprouting stuff, A single day

Well,

My great uncle is going to die soon. It’s sort of a sad subject, death. I mean, nothing is worse than watching some one slowly die. I have seen 4 people just waste away in my life, it is horrible. I think when I get to be about 75-80, if I’m so ‘lucky’ if I ever feel myself getting ready to go, I’m going to go into the woods and let raccoons eat me.

When you look into a person’s eyes and see the fear, the fear of what comes next or does not come, and the desperate hand trying to hold onto life, it just shakes your guts up. Not much you can do about it though. There is life and there is death. Things are and later they are not.

****

A few days ago I got a Sam’s club Rotisserie Chicken and put it in the fridge with the intent of eating some while I watched wrestling, like a good American is supposed to. I told my brother, ‘Hey I got a rotisserie chicken.’

He said, ‘cool.’

I went out and came back twenty minutes later. It was half gone. He ate the best parts. I was like, ‘Damn, okay, but at least there is something for me.’

Ten minutes later I see him eating the other half. ‘Why the fk do you think it is okay to eat a whole god damned rotisserie chicken?’

‘I thought you didn’t want any.’

…What else can I say.

 

*****

I am getting into sprouting stuff. I am sprouting some flax and making some rejuvelac  (a fermented drink that is supposed to be good for your digestion). Not that anyone cares, but I am getting deep into the sprouting life, soon I will not be able to come back. These small seeds and berries are my life now, I need them.

****

 

My book ‘A SINGLE DAY’ is free this week.

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This is the book about a family ready to fall apart. The story isn’t the final dramatic moment, just what is happening right before that point, with interweaving stories taking place over one single day.

 

***

I’m going to have a busy week, because my great uncle really does look like he is gone. So, if you need to contact me, just throw me a msg on twitter. BTW I’m not really close to my uncle, so no need to throw out any condolences.

 

3/27/2014 Fat Wallets, Imp King, ‘Retirment’ and businessman

Hey guys,

My story Imp King

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is free on amazon from 3/27 – 3/31 for kindle

 

It’s not much of a story, 30k words, just a quick one you could read in a day. It’s not really about anything. A man returns to his hometown to investigate his past, his parents who died in a fire when he was a child; in his search, learning of his father, uncles, and grandfather, in the pine forests of Hackasaw county,  he comes as close as a person can to the myth and power of nature.

I wrote it as a horror, mystery, suspense story that is neither. It’s just a story about who we are, how the past effects us, leaves us open or closed; how there are things in this world more powerful than humans.

*****

I want to become a grandpa. If you look at grandpas, they always have big fat wallets full of money and credit cards and receipts. My wallet is medium size jr. I’d like for it to get so big that I sit down at an angle. For some reason I have been thinking about that often this week.

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Having finished ‘The Imp King’ I am really doubting whether or not I should write ‘kayfabe’. On one hand, it is planned out and I have been thinking about it for a year. On the other, it is supposed to be something like 80k words and I REALLY don’t have the motivation to do it. No, it’s not about motivation as much as general apathy . I have about 8 stories planned out in my head. I wanted to write them, but I think I need a break.

 

I might try to become a businessman, quit writing, quit my job, and just try to scrounge up as much money as a  I can.  I don’t know what I would sell though…hope, dreams, love, hard to say, but the first thing I would have to do is get a suit.

 

Have a good week everyone.

3/13 – 3/17 Magic Mushrooms, a person’s poison and Return of the Gods

So,

My brother lost his phone looking for magic mushrooms in a cow patch. Oh he found it, but I found out he lost it at 12:30 when he barged in saying he was fucked, asking if I had any batteries. I don’t know, I’m not too much into drugs. Well, I like the white pills that have pain relievers in them, but I never got into drinking or pot or anything after. I guess lots of things are ‘drugs’ caffeine and nicotine and Dopamine and etc.

I don’t mean to be a jerk to my bro, but I honestly don’t want to deal with that junk. I notice lately that I don’t want to deal with anything. I sort of feel all dried up inside, like my juices are all pulled out. Eh, they’ll come back eventually. I’d like to be more careless about things, as I was as a younger man. Now my biggest turn on is falling asleep right away at night.

It’s hard to be young, trying to figure out who you are in a world like this. It’s hard not being rich. I guess I can’t blame him.

***

Return of the Gods

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Is free on amazon for kindle. The story of Docker, coming in contact with two alien beings of light. They wish to understand humanity, and in the process, Docker can never return to the world he once knew.

It was a fun story to write. I never put too much effort into it. It might sound like a sci-fi story, but it is more of a slow paced literary, philosophical story about human nature, purpose, instinct, etc. Docker takes Eli and Sam (the two aliens in human form) around his town, seeing glimpses of what they wish to know of humanity, seeing more of Docker and his place on earth.

There is no excitement, no big dramatic events really; no antagonist or flatter, or plot twist. It’s my kind of story, but most people probably would blah at it.

 

***

I go to a lot of thrift stores. All my clothes are from thrift stores and because of it, I have a theory. I think a person’s essence coats all things they come in contact with for extended periods of time. Some of my shirts, I love them and I am always in a great mood while wearing them. Others, I have this gray one and blue one, I seem to find myself in a bad mood often while they are grubbing up my body.

I do though, believe people have poison, the worst of us, and everything we do, what we say, think, believe, goes on to hurt and effect others deeply.

Conversely, good people could have the opposite effect. What does that mean? Eh, just this whole theory that certain folks in my family are plain evil and their very existence makes it impossible for certain other people to be happy. I’m not talking about my brother, believe me. He’s one of the few peeps I love.

***

I’m about halfway done with my story ‘Imp King’ and then, once baseball season starts I’ll write ‘Kayfabe’. I believe that will be my last book for a few years. I mean, in five years I have written something like 24 books/stories/things. I added it all up the other day and I have written around 1,750,000 words. I’m not really looking forward to the break. I just need to focus on other things.

Check ya later guys.

3/8 – 3/12 Happiness, three’s company, Craigslist

Welps, another 5 days gone.

I have been thinking about money and happiness. It’s funny, if you ask a person what their happy life is like, they’ll say the usual ‘fulfilling job, nice house, happy family, healthy kids, friends, hobbies, purpose, etc’.  BUT if you asked again and said, ‘Money is no option.’ All of a sudden people would start saying things like, ‘feed the hungry, open schools for troubled kids, end war, start charities and foundations, open up that dream business, fulfill this dream.’

I don’t know, it seems apparent: we put limits on our happiness and dreams because of gold. Nothing can be done about it, I suppose.

***

This week my story 8 Barons and the Guns of Justice is free on amazon from 3/12 to 3/16

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it’s a western…maybe. Really 8 barons is a story about greed and redemption. Vincent, an old gun fighter who protected the Barons in the flower of Hortus; long since betrayed and aware of what he was, is enlisted by a young boy whose father was killed, to strike down the Barons and their deadly body guards.

It seems like a pretty good book. I like the message of removing evil. If I was to write it today, I might change it a little, structurally. Vincent goes after the body guards first, leaving the Barons unharmed until the end of the story. My logic at the time…I might do it differently now. I still think it is a pretty good story though.

***

Between the daily grind to make money to buy food and have a roof, I have been watching Three’s Company, I’m convinced Chrissy Snow is the modern embodiment of the grail maiden (king Arthur). She is innocent, pure, honest, chaste–oh man, that show was so good. T.v today really lacks wit and physical comedy. It all seems so degraded from what ‘comedy’ in particular was in the 50′s 60′s and 70′s

***

It’s funny, I can write a whole story and feel nothing (whether it is good or bad), but if I write a poem in 10 minutes, one that I never plan on getting anything from, I get such a strong sense of accomplishment.

SALT

***

I spend hours on craigslist and ebay, I don’t know what I am looking for. I suppose it is the same reason why I like thrift stores: things.

Have a nice week ya’ll.

3/3 – 3/7 Amazon prime, big foot, smoking

Hey folks,

Peter Black here for the 5 day recap. My life is pretty exciting. I ordered some coconut oil (I use it for oil pulling, cleaning my teeth). It still isn’t here, but my bro ordered some L-theanine with amazon prime and the junk got here in two days, special delivery, small fed-ex van. My stuff is supposed to be here, but is ‘delayed’ by weather. Amazon prime is great.

Anyways, lately I have been sensing a strange and ominous figure lurking in the woods behind my house. I’m pretty sure it is big foot. It’s not a life changer, I just am afraid to go outside at night. I’ve bee writing this novella (short story) called the Imp King, about a dark figure/ specter who controls small imps. The story is about nature and protecting good. Iuno, my heart isn’t in writing any more, lately all I want to do is play Nintendo 64.

I made this cat video today when I was outside waiting for the mailman

and realized my generation’s ‘If I win the lotto’ is ‘If my video goes viral’

I have been thinkin’ about giving up smoking, but whenever I do, suddenly I start feeling great and my brain goes, ‘Now shut up idiot, this is good for all of us’. Smoking is bad, but I like it–I smoke a corn cob pipe and inhale a lot, so it’s a lot worse than smoking cigarettes–but not really because it is pure tobacco burley, rather than straight cigarette tobacco.

My story ‘Fire in the sky’ is free on amazon

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it’s a Dystopian novel that takes place in the year 2088. Corporate greed, monopoly, capitalism, heavy surveillance of the populous, John works for a power company, gets fired, his life is falling apart–he takes a job at  sewer plant, starts getting strange messages, meets Logan and soon is wanted by the Government and is a suspected terrorist. On the run, he has no where to go and ultimately is forced to realize what kind of world he lives in. I wrote this about 5 years ago, then with the whole NSA scandal coming out, I felt like a genius. The book is a little slow and boring though. It’s not all that bad tbh. If you want to check it out, boom!

I hope you all have a great week.

2/24 – 3/2 Sickness, speed running, annoying brothers and the fat conspiracy

Hey all, I got sick last week.

Being sick is the greatest thing on earth (as long as it isn’t a serious sickness, I’m talking common cold). You become prioritized. I’m sick, I need to feel better. Nothing else really matters, that is if you can afford to get sick. Some people have to power through it, BUT if you can just chill out for a week, it is wonderful.

I watched every episode of ‘I love Lucy’ and the ‘Mary Tyler Moore Show’, a bunch of video game speed runs on youtube– shout out to Striker, Toufool– I don’t have time to list them all, but it is an interesting world. Speed runners are so dedicated. They devote years of their life to mastering games and running them as fast as possible. I wish I had made the choice to do that years ago, there is such Comradery. I can’t imagine a world where people clap when I do something cool. I mean, sure, I have written a bunch of books and poems, but they aren’t tangible things. No one sees them and goes ‘wow’. Speedrunning is where it is at.

But being sick wonderful, for one, it is a go to excuse. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, says the world, “Nope, i’m sick.” For a week, whenever my brother wanted to bug me, all I had to say was, “I have a sore-throat.” No obligations to talk, no forced conversations and sorry to the preacher whose hand I shook. He wouldn’t back off from the shake, so it, it happened.

My brother isn’t a bad person. He is a nice guy and I love him, but holy fk, he annoys me so much. I’m passive aggressive. I don’t scream at you or yell, I just stop liking you and then want nothing to do with you. But my bro, I can’t do that, so I just swallow all of my frustration and let it fester into me resenting him. It’s his fault though, because he doesn’t value my feelings and opinions, but expects me to be ‘happy’ and ‘oh, it’s whatever’ all the time.

It’s at the point (he lives with me and we are both ‘adults’) where I am just happy when he is gone–but the thing is, I always want to be alone. I probably would end up hating any one if I had to live with them. I’m a solo kind of guy. I love my bro, but sometimes I just want to smash my head against the wall #venting. Anyways, in one of my drunken nyquil/ cough medicine, vicodin, caffeine stupors, I started thinking about fat. 

I mean oil, yo. Fat, eggs, milk butter, lard, oil, grease. If you think about it, meat is pretty expensive right–rice and flour is cheap–duh! But eggs and butter and milk are incredibly expensive. I feel like it’s a big rip off, having their prices almost 500% increased over the last 60 years.

I feel like it is a master plan, to keep people deprived of fats–that’s why the government put out the homestead act, to raise the price of land and make it so the average person couldn’t raise things which yielded fat: eggs, butter, milk, etc. Oh, well, it was a lot more powerful in my drugged out state.

This week my book ‘The western Woods’ is free on amazon for kindle. It is a fable, an allegory for the quest and path of purity. Nullus travels into the wilderness, forgets his humanity and challenges nature and himself, facing what it means to be human! He chases a pure white deer, fights a giant spider, runs from ghosts, meets the king of the forest (a man with nature growing on him) and a chimera dog wolf made of the western woods.

Check it out if you want...ya’ know, free book and all 

In other news, I’m about done with my writing. I think I might force myself to write Kayfabe before I take a break. Maybe. I might work more on my poetry. 

You can check that out on youtube, if you want. Subscribe to my channel, press alt-4, unplug your power chord (I’d rather you subscribe and make me feel like I am worth a penny or two).

If you need to get in contact with me, tweet @realpeterblack

I hope everyone has a great week, see you all in 5 days.